高考英語(yǔ)滿(mǎn)分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)一

　　【試題回放】

　　實(shí)現(xiàn)有效的溝通，建立良好的人際關(guān)系，不僅要善于言表，更要學(xué)會(huì)傾聽(tīng)。請(qǐng)你根據(jù)下表中所提供的信息，寫(xiě)一篇題為 “Being a Good Listener” 的英文演講稿。

　　為何傾聽(tīng)表示尊重，增進(jìn)理解，建立良好的人際關(guān)系

　　誰(shuí)來(lái)傾聽(tīng)家長(zhǎng)傾聽(tīng)孩子理解孩子，消除代溝，……

　　老師傾聽(tīng)學(xué)生了解學(xué)生，滿(mǎn)足需求，……

　　同學(xué)相互傾聽(tīng)增進(jìn)友誼，互幫互學(xué)，……

　　怎樣傾聽(tīng)(請(qǐng)考生聯(lián)系自己擬定內(nèi)容，列舉兩至三點(diǎn)。)

　　注意：

　　1、 對(duì)所給要點(diǎn)，逐一陳述，適當(dāng)發(fā)揮，不要簡(jiǎn)單翻譯。

　　2、 詞數(shù)150左右。開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾已經(jīng)寫(xiě)好，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。

　　3、 演講稿中不得提及考生所在學(xué)校及本人姓名。

　　Good afternoon, everyone.

　　The topic of my speech today is “Being a Good Listener”.

　　Good listening can always show respect, promote understanding, and improve interpersonal relationship.

　　Many people suggest that parents should listen more to their children, so they will understand them better, and find it easy to narrow the generation gap; teachers should listen more to their students, then they can meet their needs better, and place themselves in a good relationship with their students; students should listen more to their classmates, thus they will help and learn from each other, and a friendship is likely to be formed.

　　What I want to stress is that each of us should listen to others. Show your respect and never stop others till they finish their talk; show you are interested by a supportive silence or a knowing smile; be open-minded to different opinions even though you don’t like them. In a word, good listening can really enable us to get closer to each other.

　　Thank you for your listening!

　　【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】

　　這是一篇感情真摯、熱情洋溢的演講稿，文中大量運(yùn)用排比句型，不但準(zhǔn)確流暢地表達(dá)出題目中所提供的信息，而且體現(xiàn)出作者熟練運(yùn)用英語(yǔ)的能力以及不俗的文采。第三段中所使用的相同結(jié)構(gòu)的復(fù)合句式，將傾聽(tīng)的對(duì)象及其作用闡述得淋漓盡致;而第四段中用一系列的祈使句議論應(yīng)如何傾聽(tīng)，則更進(jìn)一步地增強(qiáng)了這篇演說(shuō)稿的說(shuō)服力。

　　積累卡片英漢互譯

　　好詞

　　1.promote v .促進(jìn) 2. interpersonal adj.人際的3. generation gap. 代溝4. open-minded adj. 虛心的

　　好句

　　1. students should listen more to their classmates, thus they will help and learn from each other, and a friendship is likely to be formed.

　　同學(xué)之間應(yīng)該互相傾聽(tīng)，這樣他們可以互相學(xué)習(xí)和幫助，也會(huì)形成友誼。

　　評(píng)析：復(fù)雜句的組合，被動(dòng)句的使用。

　　2. What I want to stress is that each of us should listen to others.

　　我想強(qiáng)調(diào)的是我們每個(gè)人都應(yīng)該更多的傾聽(tīng)他人。

　　評(píng)析：復(fù)合句的使用。

　　高考英語(yǔ)滿(mǎn)分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)二

　　【試題回放】

　　假設(shè)你是卜曼宜，你購(gòu)買(mǎi)了一部某外國(guó)公司生產(chǎn)的手機(jī)，因有質(zhì)量問(wèn)題，要求該公司更換。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下列要點(diǎn)，用英文寫(xiě)一封電子郵件。

　　要點(diǎn)：1. 問(wèn)題：手機(jī)不響鈴，不能發(fā)短信;該產(chǎn)品已售完，無(wú)法更換;型號(hào)新，無(wú)配件，無(wú)法維修。 2. 要求：公司應(yīng)盡快予以更換。

　　注意：

　　1. 詞數(shù)為100左右;

　　2. 參考詞匯：配件—— spare part;

　　3. 電子郵件的開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾已為你寫(xiě)好(不計(jì)入你所寫(xiě)詞數(shù));

　　4.已給出的電子郵件的開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾不得抄入答題卡。

　　Dear Sir，

　　I am writing to you for the mobile phone of Dephone-S250 I bought on 20th Apr.2008 at Tele Mall in Wuhan, P.R. China. Ten days after that, it didn’t ring and send short messages. Then I took it to the seller, but was told that the model had been sold out and I had to wait at least three months for a new one. I had no choice but to go to the repairman. To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts. I was so desperate on hearing that for I can not wait that long. Therefore, I have to require that you send me a new one of the same model within a month.

　　Thank you for your consideration.

　　Sincerely yours,

　　Bu Manyi

　　【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】

　　本文內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)齊全，語(yǔ)言豐富，結(jié)構(gòu)合理，如頭兩句說(shuō)明了購(gòu)買(mǎi)手機(jī)后發(fā)現(xiàn)故障的情況，中間部分說(shuō)明了無(wú)法維修而必須讓公司更換手機(jī)的原委，最后明確提出自己的要求，明白流暢，將題目所提出的要點(diǎn)全部表達(dá)清楚，較好的完成了任務(wù)。全文以一般過(guò)去時(shí)為基調(diào)，結(jié)合主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)與被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)，并使用了so, but, therefore 等連接詞，使文章結(jié)構(gòu)完整嚴(yán)密。固定短語(yǔ)，如be sold out ,at least, had no choice but to go, to my disappointment, on hearing that 等的使用，使文章的語(yǔ)言顯得地道而精煉。

　　積累卡片英漢互譯

　　好詞

　　1. disappointment n.失望 2.desperate adj.絕望的3. consideration n.體諒

　　好句

　　To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts.

　　令我失望的是，他說(shuō)因?yàn)樵谥袊?guó)是新款手機(jī)，所以沒(méi)有配件來(lái)修理。

　　評(píng)析：復(fù)雜句的組織; to my disappointment, 常用短語(yǔ)。

　　高考英語(yǔ)滿(mǎn)分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)三

　　【試題回放】

　　假設(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)高三一班的學(xué)生李華，為?？⒄Z(yǔ)園地寫(xiě)一篇題為“Our Spring Outing” 的英文稿件。 請(qǐng)根據(jù)以下四幅圖的先后順序，敘述上周你們班從準(zhǔn)備春游到春游結(jié)束的完整過(guò)程。

　　注意： 詞數(shù)不少于60.

　　提示詞： 游樂(lè)園 amusement park 垃圾箱 bin

　　Last Thursday, we had a class meeting to discuss where to go for our spring outing. We came up with several choices such as going boating, climbing a mountain, and going to an amusement park. Finally, we decided to go mountain climbing.

　　The next day, we set off early in the morning. While climbing the mountain, we enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view . However, when we reached the top, we were shocked to see litter here and there, such as bottles and banana peels. Then we started to pick up the litter and put the rubbish into the nearby recycling bin and non-recycling bin respectively.

　　We were tired but happy.

　　【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】

　　本情景作文的內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)如下：1.討論;2.爬山;3.檢拾別人的垃圾;4.投放垃圾。內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)可用不同方式表達(dá)。本文覆蓋了所有內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)，較好地完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù)。其中，寫(xiě)作主題突出，詳略得當(dāng)，應(yīng)用了較多的語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯，而且有效的使用了語(yǔ)句間的連接成分，使全文機(jī)構(gòu)緊湊。本文敘述清楚，描寫(xiě)細(xì)致，準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用了很多富有表現(xiàn)力的詞和句型，例如：“set off early”，“enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view”, ”were shocked to see litter here and there “等，將活動(dòng)的情形很形象地描述了出來(lái)。

　　積累卡片英漢互譯

　　好詞

　　1 set off 出發(fā) 2. litter n.廢棄物 3.respectively adv.分別地

　　好句

　　1.While climbing the mountain, we enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view .

　　在爬山時(shí)，我們享受著溫暖的陽(yáng)光和美麗的風(fēng)景。

　　1. However, when we reached the top, we were shocked to see litter here and there, such as bottles and banana peels.

　　然而，當(dāng)我們登上山頂，被眼前的一幕驚呆了：瓶子和香蕉皮這樣的廢棄物到處都是。

　　評(píng)析：細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)，生動(dòng)形象。“shock”一詞也用得生動(dòng)傳神。

　　高考英語(yǔ)滿(mǎn)分作文點(diǎn)評(píng)四

　　【試題回放】

　　一家賓館新開(kāi)業(yè)，為吸引外國(guó)賓客，希望在互聯(lián)網(wǎng)上進(jìn)行宣傳。請(qǐng)你用英語(yǔ)為其 寫(xiě)一篇文字介紹。主要內(nèi)容包括：

　　1.地點(diǎn)：距白山入口處500米;

　　2.房間及價(jià)格：?jiǎn)稳碎g(共20間)，100元/天;雙人間(共15間)，150元/天;熱水淋浴;3.餐飲：餐廳(中、西餐)，咖啡廳(茶、咖啡);4.游泳池：全天免費(fèi)開(kāi)放; 5.歡迎預(yù)定。

　　注意：1.詞數(shù)100左右，開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫(xiě)好;2.可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

　　Welcome to Baishan Mountain Hotel!

　　Baishan Mountain Hotel is now open for business.

　　500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, it provides single person room, of which the price is RMB100 yuan per day and the number is 20, and 15 double person rooms, with a price of RMB 150 yuan per day. It also provides hot water bath service. You can enjoy both Chinese and western food in the restaurant and drink coffee and tea in the cafe. The swimming pool is open for free the whole day. All these services can bring great convenience to you and are very enjoyable. So come to enjoy yourself!

　　Welcome to book rooms in Baishan Mountain.

　　【名師點(diǎn)評(píng)】

　　本文開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山，首先點(diǎn)明了主旨。本文最大的特點(diǎn)是應(yīng)用了很多比較復(fù)雜的句式，使文章比較出彩。開(kāi)頭使用了獨(dú)立結(jié)構(gòu)交代賓館位置。which引導(dǎo)的非限制性定語(yǔ)從句的使用也很正確。總地來(lái)說(shuō)，文章句式精煉，是篇不錯(cuò)的滿(mǎn)分作文。

　　積累卡片英漢互譯

　　好詞1. provide v.提供2. convenience n.便利

　　好句All these services can bring great convenience to you and are

　　very enjoyable.所有這些服務(wù)都會(huì)給你帶來(lái)便利，并且非常的愉快。

　　評(píng)析：bring great convenience，帶來(lái)便利。